Wednesday, May 8, 2013


dear esteemed senatoriables,

greetings from dear great leader!

you have made it this far. in a few days, the nation will know who among you lucky patriots get to serve this beloved country of ours. surely, our dear countrymen are just as excited to be served by you as you are excited to serve us.

comrade ladies and gentlemen, as you face the culmination of this year-long folly, er, quest, allow me to invite you to a thought experiment. calm down, this thought experiment will not involve the curvatures of spacetime.

suppose we have a young lady on board a runaway train that is speeding the wrong way on a one-way track. as is obvious, the young lady will have to be saved. the task of saving her does not fall on the shoulders of a mutant superhero but it will be the duty of group of ordinary people. it appears that volunteers are being rounded up for the job of saving the young lady and you are among those who have so gallantly presented themselves as up to the task. you look around you and you see a motley crew: people with varying degrees of knowledge on how to go about steering the train to safety. some have worked with trains extensively. some are daughters, sons, cousins of people working in the train company. some volunteered, claiming to be follow god's command. still others have worked for the abolition of trains, insisting that buses are a better mode of transportation. the people choose from among you volunteers. as you suit up and get ready to save the young lady, ask yourself the following question:
1. there are dire consequences if you make a mistake. heck, the young lady could die. do you sincerely believe that you can do the job?
2. what if, at some point during the rescue, you will be asked to make a personal sacrifice, say lose a limb or break a bone? would you do it?
3. can we trust you?

comrade ladies and gentlemen, if the answer to any of those questions is NO, dear great leader pleads, "pack up your bags and go."

viva la revolucion (and off with your heads if you let us down),

dear great leader

Monday, April 29, 2013

comrades,

dear great leader exhorts you to show your appreciation for the patriotism of our comrade senatorial candidate jack enrile. until now, dear great leader is struck by the utter selflessness of comrade jack's insistence that we should forego the discussion on his criminal culpability in the name of national unity.

comrades, do not forget comrade jack on may 13. you know what to do.

viva la revolucion and off with their heads,
dear great leader

Monday, February 25, 2013


comrades,

these are interesting times.

a lot of characters from the haute and petite bourgeoisie inveigle us to repose our trust and confidence in them, with promises that they represent the true revolution.

we must be ever vigilant, comrades. the gains of the revolution are thus far few but these gains are tangible, real. these gains are also quite fragile. the burden rests upon our shoulders to nurture these gains until the revolution succeeds.

dear great leader has searched far and wide and has chanced upon the work of our comrade jester-in-exile. the proletariat must open their eyes and see wolves of deception masquerading as sheep of salvation. comrades, dear great leader invites you to use the work of comrade jester to learn the truth behind the lies:


Saturday, February 9, 2013

comrades,

dear great leader takes a break from revolutionary work to help the proletariat clarify the obfuscations being bandied about in the wordwide web about surveys.

social weather stations and pulse asia, inc. have recently released the results of their respective january 2013 pre-election surveys. understandably, a number of candidates for the senate have raised a howl, claiming that these surveys condition the public mind and set trends that eventually affect the result of the elections.

are they correct?

according to the oracle of wikipedia (and yes, revolutionaries are wont to consult oracles as well, nevermind how tragic the greeks ended up), "an opinion poll is asurvey of public opinion from a particular sample. opinion polls are usually designed to represent the opinions of a population by conducting a series of questions and then extrapolating generalities into ratio or within confidence intervals." whew.

put more simply, a survey is akin to taking a spoonful of the broth of public sentiment in order to know how it tastes. as dear great leader's polsci 199 professor pepe miranda constantly reiterated, one does not need to consume the whole pot to know if the stew is delicious.

is it important to know how the stew tastes? dear great leader believes that the answer is an unequivocal, if at times cautious, yes. a candidate will find it invaluable to know how he is fairing in particular communities (not just the geographic kind, mind you). this will help him either consolidate his gains or strategize to try to catch up with his opponents. alternatively, and taking our stew metaphor a bit further, this will help the candidate determine if it's better to just turn off the stove altogether and order out. there are delicious ramen places everywhere!

for the electorate, surveys helps them relay to candidates the issues that are important to them. you will recall, comrades, how the overwhelming public support for the rh bill forced the legislators to get over their squeamishness in supporting the devil. although, if true that vox populi vox dei, then the cbcp would be guilty of turning deaf ears to the almighty's entreaties with their stance against the rh bill.

but i digress. the point is, on the whole, pre-election surveys do a lot of good.

as to the question of trending, i understand that there have been studies that showed that the issue of creating a trend for or against candidates is real. i understand however, from the wisdom of the web aggregated by google, that this trending has not been conclusively proven.

dear great leader believes that this trending conundrum can be shown up by casting it into a chicken-or-egg situation:

"is my polling on the upswing because i am becoming more popular or am i becoming more popular because my polling is on the upswing?" 

put this way, dear great leader believes you, comrades, know the answer.

viva la revolucion!
dear great leader

Monday, January 28, 2013

comrades,

i believe you are still quite incensed about today's verdict on comrade carlos celdran's case. i can certainly understand how you feel.

while reading the decision of judge bermejo, i searched for justification for carlos' conviction. remember that he was prosecuted for the crime of offending the religious feelings under article 133 of the revised penal code. art. 133 states that the penalty shall be imposed "upon anyone who, in a place devoted to religious worship or during the celebration of any religious ceremony shall perform acts notoriously offensive to the feelings of the faithful." there has been a lot of back and forth on social media about how backward and stupid this law is. regardless, the fact is that this law exists and can correctly be the basis for conviction if it should be proven that a person was indeed guilty of it.

question is, is carlos celdran guilty? as i said, i think judge bermejo failed to establish a basis for the conviction. note that the law does not criminalize any instance of offending religious feeling. the law requires that the act should be notoriously offensive. what does this mean?

in the case of people vs. reyes, et al. (gr no. l-40577), the supreme court held that "the construction of a fence, even though irritating and vexatious under the circumstances to those present, is not such an act as can be designated as 'notoriously offensive to the faithful' as normally such an act would b a matter of complete indifference to those not present, no matter how religious a turn of mind they might be." note that in this instance, the accused arrived at a venue for pabasa, "carrying bolos and crowbars, and started to construct a barbed wire fence in front of the chapel. xxx a verbal altercation ensued. when the people attending the pabasa in the chapel xxx, they became excited and left the place hurriedly and in such confusion that dishes and saucers were broken and benches toppled over." the supreme court instead convicted the accused under art. 287 for unjust vexation.

in the case people vs baes (gr no. l-46000), justice laurel, in his dissent, explained how an act could be considered as notoriously offensive: "i believe that an act, in order to be considered as notoriously offensive to the religious feelings, must be one directed against a religious practice or dogma or ritual for the purpose of ridicule; the offender, for instance, mocks, scoffs at or attempts to damage an object of religious veneration; it must be abusive, insulting and obnoxious." bear in mind that carlos was actually making fun of damaso, a fictional character. his act was not directed against religious practice or dogma. neither was it directed at a religious ritual since mass was not being celebrated at the time that he staged his protest. and even if he were making fun of priests, an act that is not unequivocally shown by the mere raising up of a damaso sign, the test set by justice laurel is still not met considering that priests are not objects of religious veneration (unless the priests present at the time actually think they are).

finally, in the case people vs. nosce (gr no. l-41757), where the accused went so far as to slap a priest in front of a large congregation, the supreme court held that such act did not merit a conviction under art. 133 but is more properly punished under art. 359 for slander by deed.

in the case carlos celdran, judge bermejo characterized the instances of "notorious offenses" to religious feelings thus:

for witness no. 1: "however, it did not take long when she realized that such was not part of the activity, and proceeded in front to find out what happened. she then saw somebody taking the accused and there was already a commotion since he started shouting inside the church. witness was offended and was angryof what happened, since it was a solemn activity which was disrupted and disrespected by accused."

for witness no. 2: "witness cacal explained that the word 'damaso' pertains to a priest, who committed something against the church. although she admitted that she did not know the meaning of the word, however, she claimed that every timeshe hears the word 'damaso' it is very traumatic for her."

for witness no. 3: "he was surprised, offended and angry, since he did not expect such incident will happen, considering it was a solemn celebration."
comrades, obviously they are a bunch of ultra-sensitive nitwits. it is obvious as well that judge bermejo is either unacquainted with the definition of "notorious" or he has an extremely low treshhold for offense. unfortunately, judge bermejo, under such cognitive and emotional challenges, now proposes to send a man to jail.

it is painfully obvious that the notoriety of offense warranted by art. 133 is not present in this case. this only goes to show, comrades, that we must renew our efforts toward the revolution. we must be ever watchful, especially when the religious are just as happy to lend an invisible cloak to tyranny just so they can vindicate their petty grievances.

charity. indeed. viva la revolucion! and off with their heads!

dear great leader